Related:

• Sorry about the mess, I thought it was a fart!
• But I DO work in a pretzel factory", he thought in his twisted mind!
  Oops!, sorry, I was miles away......
• There once was a bird who hated saying 'goodbye' so much, he waited until the last minute to fly south for the winter.
  When he finally did leave, it was so cold that his wings iced up and he fell to the ground on a nearby farm....
• This guy, see, was walkin' down the street sportin' two -- not one, but two -- black eye
  a coupla real shiners. He chanced upon his buddy walkin' th' other way and they stopped to talk....
• I was party once to an attempt at humorous cow placement.
  I attended a boarding school that actually had a dairy farm ( George School, Pa....
• The Top 15 Things Overheard at the Baseball All-Star Game 15> "Says who he can't hit?
  I've seen him hit the 3rd base ump in the eye with a lugie from the dugout!...
• Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.
• Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
  If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....
• Typical Blonde A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country fligh
  and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her....