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• I want Kirstie Alley for my Birthday!
• There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
• Make my day, kill a GUI today.
• Make my day: Kill a GUI today!
• BIRTHDAY QUOTES I never forget my wife's birthday.
  It's usually the day after she reminds me about it....
• One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka.
  "The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his mother had brought him, and hurried back....
• Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry.
• Do something unusual today. Pay my phone bill.