Related:

• YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN -- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
  -- You ski uphill. -- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked....
• English language Let's face it -- English is a crazy language.
  There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburge...
• The English Language Let's face it-English is a crazy language.
  There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple....
• After a long and particularly arduous cattle drive, a cowboy wandered into Dodge to get a hot meal, a beer, and a bath.
  The cowboy headed for the nearest restaurant to have dinner....
• Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.
  Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said....
• The Hostess will seat you now.
• Three bums - Dusty, Jake and Loner - were walking down some railroad tracks when Jake stops and asked the other two, "Hey, did either of you guys shit in your pants?
  Dusty and Loner both replied, "Not me Jake." "Well, I smell shit, and I think it's coming from one of you guys," said Jake....
• You want to smell my WHAT?
• You smell wet. Let's Party.