Related:

• I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having.
• You can have peace. Or you can have freedom: LL
• Three guys were having an argument about who was more generously endowed.
  Finally, to settle the matter once and for all, they went up to the top of the Empire State Building and proceeded to unzip their flies....
• This big guy (and I mean *really* big) is sitting in his local pub, having a beer when this little guy comes running in.
  Quick, quick", he says, "there's a guy in bed with your wife!...
• This guy and this girl are rampantly having sex. During a lull in the passion, the guy asks the girl to turn over.
  "Why?" asks the girl. "Because I want to try something different," says the guy....
• MARCH ON THE HICKS The HICKS: The Homebound Investigative Curmudgeon Knockout Syndrome.
  Last week, my fellow Marchers, we set the cadence....
• EEKING OUT A LIVING IN RADIOACTIVE SHOES Come now, don’t any of you baby boomers remember having your childhood feet x-rayed at the shoe store?
  It was right about the time we were being stuffed with megadoses of penicillin no matter what the wheezy etiology, and ducking for cover under one-armed elementary school desks in mock nuclear bomb attacks....
• DON'T GET SMART WITH ME: Three guys are having a relaxing day of fishing.
  Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid -- who begs to be set free, in return for granting each of them a wish....
• A tale of woe...by Poe? Or a vain attempt at literature by the computer semi-literate?
  Anonymous, with all apologies due to E. A. Poe Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, Systems manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadshee...