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• One day Adam was in the Garden of Eden when God came over to him and said, "I made something for you.
  What I made for you will do anything you say, fix your meals and give you indescribable pleasure....
• Two hunters hired a bush pilot to fly them to a remote lake in Alaska.
  As he dropped them off, the pilot said, "Now, you can legally shoot one moose apiece, but don't do it....
• A rose is not a rose when it's a brick.
• Poem My face in the mirror isn't wrinkled or draw
  My house isn't dirty the cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely and so does my law...
• Cost-cutting Adam Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden, feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?
  Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman....
• Don't cry darling, Daddy had to drown the cat." "Yes I know, but he promised I could do it.
• I used to have a rock garden, but three of them died.
• What color do you paint the sun and the wind? The sun rose, and the wind blue.
• 5000 years ago Moses said, "Pack up you camel, pick up your shovel, mount your ass, and I will lead you to the promised land.
  5000 years later, F. D. Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass and light up a camel, this is the promised land....