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• Hoocccckkk Ptewieee sputttt pfsttt hack hack
• From Sourcebook Magazine, Summer 1990, by Dan Gutma
  Would the invention of the telephone ever have gotten off the ground if Alexander Graham Bell's first call had gone ....
• McDonald's Application This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!
  (editor's note: I would have hired him too!!) NAME...
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....
• I used to work in a bank,but then I lost interest. I used to be a lumberjack,but then I got the axe.
  I used to be a carpenter,but then I got bored. I used to be a tennis instructor,but it wasn't my racket....
• We hack, crack, and pirate all sorts of Public Domain software.
• To the tune of "Heartbreak Hotel" with appropriate instrumental accompaniment) I just left home baby I'll be out fer a spell and if you don't leave a message baby you can go to &l
  BEEP>...
• I fart to make you smell better." What do you call a blond with a dollar on top of her head?
  All You Can Eat for under a buck! How many Male Chauvanist Pigs does it take to change a light bulb?...
• Odd that no-one mentioned the fun to be had with all the new and wonderful phone features available now.
  None of the below are truly destructive. Adjust gender as appropriate (women's lib be damned, I'm not going to type his/her, s/he every time)....