Related:

• But right now I'm using "This is a boring answering machine message.
  Leave a message anyway." because I'm sick of people ringing the phone at 10am just so they can hear the clever messages I usually have, and then hanging up without even leaving a "like your message" message....
• CLICHE AMMENDMENTS....... CLICHE AMMENDMENTS......
  . Part ONE by T & B -selling like hotcakes, but things are bound to look up soon....
• Political Party Affiliation: (Choose as many as you have personalities) ____ Green Party ____ American Communist Party ____ Socialist Party ____ New Age Astral Party (channeling the spirits of dead Romans) ____ Hemp Party ____ The Party-Hearty Party ____ Inner Child Abuse Hotline Party ____ New Age Goddess Party How far is your home from the waterline
  ___ Miles ___ Yards ___ Feet ___ I like to wake up with sand in my nose and seaweed in my teeth, in true harmony with nature as it washes up my nose Number of surfboards owned...
• Tips from Secretaries to Managers: Enhancing the Relationship 1.
  Whenever possible, please keep us late. We have no homes to go to and are only too thankful to spend the evening here....
• 100 reasons why it's great to be a girl 1. free dinners 2.
  free lunches 3. free brunches 4. free movies (you get the point) 5....
• REDNECK JEDI Rednecks are not limited to Earth. They exist all across the galaxy in many different forms.
  One example is Luke Skywalker, who must have been a redneck because he fell in love with his sister, Leia....
• 30 Ways to Cope With Stress 1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out.
  See how many you can do at a time. 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa....
• Life Without Crutches If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills If you can be cheerful
  ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, If you can overlook when people take things out on you, when through no fault of your, something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, Then, you are almost as good as your dog or your cat....
• This guy buys a parrot. Every morning he stands in front of the cage and asks in a pleasant voice "Can you talk?
  This goes on for weeks with absolutely no response from the bird....