So I Said To Myself, "Self," I Said...

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• As I said before, I never repeat myself.
• I tell ya' I get no respect. I was making love to this girl and she started crying.
  I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No - I hate myself NOW ......
• Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled
  I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
• I am so smart I make myself sick.