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  .....
• He hated to mend, so young Ned Called in a cute neighbor instead.
  Her husband said, "Vi, When you stitched up his torn fly, Did you have to bite off the thread?...
• A 5-year-old Lebanese girl, Re Mi Bendaly, is gaining fame singing anti-war ballads.
  It's what you get when you ask, "Want to make some dough, Re Mi?...
• HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE TURNING REPUBLICAN (By Dave Barry) The Republicans have a high Beady-eyed
  elf-righteous, scary, borderline loon quotient, as evidenced by Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Robertson, and the entire state of Utah, etc....
• Looking for a good time? Call 1-900-555-1212, and speak to the most beautiful operators West of the Atlantic!
  Hear them say "What city please, big boy?" They'll get you hot, asking you "What's the party's name, you luscious piece of man-meat?...
• Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
  A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if she is cute....
• Memos On The Company's Christmas Party FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director TO
  Everyone RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue....
• Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she was bad?
  A: They re-arranged the furniture in her room....
• Little Puppies One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he noticed a little boy standing outside the white house gates.
  As curiosity got him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing....