Related:

• PREDICTION You are reading messages right now.
• After 2 weeks of no messages you are back!
• Star Trek theme in the background:) (Voice 1:) Room 17, the final frontier.
  (Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine....
• Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.
  My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean....
• Here's another one, (partly) remembered. It is best said very fastand loud and with no pause
  o receive the desired effect (the calling party will have lost all concentration and leave babbling garbage on the tape)....
• Q: What do you call a pussy that takes messages for you? A: An answering cervix.
• YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN: * You take a vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
  * You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap ....
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• Two writes don't make a novel!