Related:

• Open your mouth honey, it's just a tongue depressor...
• Q: What do you call this? (Stick out tongue) A: A lesbian with a hard-o
• What's the difference between an elephant and peanut butter?
  An elephant doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth....
• BE A KID AGAIN.... Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
  Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into your hairbrush Grow a milk mustache Smile back at the man in the moon Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away Dunk your cookies Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing Step carefully over sidewalk cracks Change into some play clothes Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich Have a staring contest with your cat Eat ice cream for breakfast Kiss a frog just in case Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck" Blow the wrapper off a straw Refuse to eat crusts Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no" Watch TV in your pajamas Ask "Why?...
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash.
  He walks over to the bar, and orders a beer....
• From werner Wed Jul 13 14:06:34 1988 Flags: 000000000000 From
  ob@perle.UUCP (Rob McDougall) Subject: alligators Keyword...
• Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
• How To Blow Your Nose