Related:

• Q: What was John Lennon's last hit? A: The pavement.
• During Jesus' crucifixion, a mob of angry people gathered at the base of the hill that his cross sat on top of.
  The guards kept all of them back, includ- ing his disciples....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• Getting The Job Done Jane entered the kitchen one morning, reached to turn on the light, and it didn't work.
  After replacing the bulb, still no light. When John, her husband, came home, she said "Honey, the light switch is broken....
• You know you are getting old when: - you go upstairs to the bathroom and wonder why your in there when you arrive - the checkout girl at the supermarket says "plastic or paper" and you answer "check" - it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night - you are out with the boys for a drink and you want to get home by 11pm to watch the news - you are at party and you don't fancy sleeping over in a sleeping bag on the nice hard floor - after your third beer you really fancy a cup of tea - you dunk your biscuits in your tea Q
  Name 3 famous people who where shot in the back of the head?...
• Two Ukrainians went hunting. One accidentally shot the other.
  The shootee rushed the shot to the hospital and watched while they wheeled his friend into the O....
• You Know What? This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
  One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer....
• Back when I was in high school a friend of mine, Robe
  hurt his back while rolling his car and had to wear a plaster cast around his torso, from just under his armpits to a few inches below the navel....