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• If you never paint a house, you never have to repaint it.
• An eager, but less than bright, young entrepreneur decides to go into the painting business.
  So he wanders into the rich part of town, paint brush in hand, and knocks at the door of a large house....
• You know you're a redneck if: Your Truck has curtains, but your house doesn't.
  Your porch collapses, and it kills more than seven dogs....
• In plumbing, a straight flush is better than a full house!
•  There is more to reality than meets the eye 
• I'm more humble than you are!
• Imagination is more important than knowledge!