Related:

• Running your air conditioner a lot now also helps stop spoilage of the last few of your leftover holiday fruitcakes.
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• A rock band's drummer thought he would make a good policman, he was use to pounding a beat.
  A man was taken to the polic station and asked to confess, they showed him his fingerprints, and those found at the crime....
• LIFE IN THE SLAW LANE by Kip Adotta It was Cucumber the Fi
  Summer was over. I had just spinached a long day and I was busheled....
• I think I have one of these books. It is by George Heyduke (Hayduke?
  ). When I read it, I was practically overcome with mirth....
• How they make those foods look so good on TV Have you wondered why your meals don't look as good as those TV ads?
  Most of us know they use tricks on those ads. Here are a few reported by Brett Kurzweil in the HOPE health letter (posted without permission) - Shaving cream is used instead of whipped cream - Roasted poultry is typically shellacked to make it look good - Nectarines can be turned into gorgeous looking fuzzy peaches by spritzing them with antifungal foot spray....
• A little gentler trick that a co-worker pulled up here a few years ago depended on the sound module from one of those dolls that cries unless you rock it back and forth.
  He fastened it to the bottom of someone's chair. The someone comes and sits down, and starts working on his terminal....
• A New Years Wish? Please accept with no obligation implied
  my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion or secular traditions of all....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....