Related:

• Promises are cheap," Gary Hart said in his convention speech.
  And it was good to find out SOMETHING is....
• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
• My gal pal told me this one: Q: What do yuppies call mutual oral sex?
  A: Sixty-something. Ron D. Harvey ..!att!ihlpm!...
• Mr. Reagan says he's engaged in "quiet diplomacy" with the Soviets, and we gather that means more than that he's simply turned the volume down on his hearing aid.
  A new poll shows most Democrats want a Mondale-Hart ticket....
• Things are more like they are now than ever were before
• The vision from the floor must have been terrible. Delegates kept shouting "We want Hart!
  when he was right there on the podium....
• At the Democratic convention this summer we're likely to see delegate challenges and floor fights.
  This is in addition, of course, to the contest for goofiest hat....
• It should be noted by people wishing to play practical jokes, that some people take them dead seriously.
  Such people tend to escalate the level of jokes by a couple of magnitudes....
• 380. Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes with yeast infections? A: A wine and cheese party!