Related:

• Santa Sued For Checking List Twice... AUSTIN, TX (Dec.
  23) - Attorneys for filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice....
• Memos On The Company's Christmas Party FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director TO
  Everyone RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue....
• Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking home from our house Christmas Eve, You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
  She'd been drinking too much eggnog, And we begged her not to go, But she forgot her medication, So she staggered out the door and through the snow....
• Least Popular Christmas Carols 10. Deck The Halls With Useless Junk / Martha Stewart Made While She Was Drunk!
  (Deck The Halls) 9. Rudolph The New York Mayor / Wore A Very Lovely Dress (Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer) 8....
• Climate is what we expect; weather is what we get.
• Subject: Ag Science students. There were these 3 Ag Science students driving along this old farm road on day when they saw this farm, pulled in and knocked on the farmers door.
  The farmer answered the door and the 3 students introduced themselves and said, "We were just passing by and saw your field of buttercups and was wondering if we could go and get us a bucket full of butter"?...
• By Lore Shoberg, velcro@ucscb.ucsc.
• By Lore Shoberg, velcro@ucscb.ucsc.EDU SANTA CLAUS IS WEILDING A GUN (to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town") Oh
  you better watch out You better not pry You better stay back I'm telling you why Santa Claus is wielding a gun He's making a list And checking it twice Gonna find out who He's gonna ice Santa Claus is wielding a gun Don't give him any trouble He'll blow you right away Don't give him any cause to shoot Or you'll make his Christmas Day Oh, you better believe He's packing a rod No coal in your stocking Just lead in your bod Santa Claus is wielding a gun He doesn't want cookies Or none of that crud He doesn't want milk What he wants is your blood Santa Claus is wielding a gun (Music Bridge, with automatic arms fire) He doesn't trust nobody Shot all his reindeer dead Thought Dancer was a sissy And thought Rudoulph was a red Oh, you better watch out You better not pry You better stay back I'm telling you why Santa Claus is wielding a gun (c) 1987 Lore Shoberg, velcro@ucscb....
• Solidarity continues to be a problem for the Polish government, and any day now we expect it to change that old communist rally line to, "Workers of the world, shut up!
  (Editor's note: Bill is finally back at work after his cross country sojourn....