Related:

• YOUR CO-WORKER COULD BE A SPACE ALIEN, SAY EXPERTS .
  .. here's how you can tell (by Michael Cassels of the "National Inquirer") Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look human - but you can spot these visitors byy looking for certain tip-offs, say experts....
• HIS AND HIRSUTISM Hair. Heads up, my fellow male Marchers.
  Get ready to temporarily ride the new permanent wave, as yet another panacea for male pattern baldness heads for the marketplace....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• cars and driving --- For a while I didn't have a car.
  .. I had a helicopter... no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running....
• Did Ya' Ever Just Wonder... Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
  Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?...
• From The Wit of Steven Wright: ** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
  The mime next door went nuts. ** If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?...
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• If AOL were a City -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- - You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name
  and all were h0t 17/f cheerleaders with a fetish for pierced gay Dobermans in spandex....