Related:

• This was printed in the San Francisco Examiner, April 16, 1989.
  The poet is anonymous because, to quote the IRS spokesman, "anything that's sent to the IRS is classified as confidential"....
• The Founding Fathers had some things easier. For instance, on July 4 nights they never had to protect their homes from nuts with bottle rockets.
• Facts About Women ** Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
  ** Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out....
• Dumbest Deaths in History" Francis Bacon: One of the most influential minds of the late 16th century.
  A statesman, a philosopher, a writer, and a scientist, he was even rumored to have written some of Shakespeare's plays....
• McDonald's Application This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!
  (editor's note: I would have hired him too!!) NAME...
• Resume This is an actual job application someone submitted for a fast-food establishment.
  APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION...
• REDNECK JEDI Rednecks are not limited to Earth. They exist all across the galaxy in many different forms.
  One example is Luke Skywalker, who must have been a redneck because he fell in love with his sister, Leia....
• HOW GUYS THINK By Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize Winning Columnist From The Boston Sunday Globe
  August 20, 1989 Today we're going to explore the mysterious topic of How Guys Think, which has baffled women in general, and the editors of Cosmopolitan magazine in particular, for thousands of years....
• Today marks the first birthday of rec.humor.funny. Thanks to all my submitters for a funny year, and thanks to the readers, too.
  (Please don't mail to thank me, the 700 Poll responses were enough....