May I See You Pretty Soon? Don't You Think I'm Pretty Now?

Related:

• Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick. You look more beautiful than Nurse Chapel.
  Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?...
• Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper. Little Johnny: I hope you didn't, too.
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• Men, Translated "I'm going fishing." Really means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
  "It's a guy thing." Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical....
• Federal Aviation Agency, Washington 25, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• Federal Aviation Administration, Washington, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
• Sure, I'd love to play," says George, "but I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me.
  "Yeah, sounds great," says George. "But I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me....