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• 1997'S BEST NEWSPAPER HEADLINES ARE... Include your Children when baking cookies Something went wrong in Jet Crash
  Expert says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Iraqi Head Seeks arms Is there a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?...
• 60 Actual Newspaper Headlines, Collected by Journalists 1.
  Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says 2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers 3....
• M" lab menial slain: embalm.
• Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
• The District Attorney requested all the robbery victims to come to the police station to study a lineup of five people.
  He placed his suspect at the end of the line. Then he asked each to step forward and say, "Give me all your money....
• Winners of the Brainless Olympics! Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $
  16 bills. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head....
• REALLY STUPID PEOPLE 1) Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $
  16 bills. 2) A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head....
• Rub him out... One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him.
  The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are ya that she is gonna kill ya?...
• A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over.
  He walks up to the car and sees a nice-looking woman is driving and smells liquor on her breath....