Related:

• A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
• Confucius Says: "Man who run in front of car, get tired" "Man who run behind ca
  get exhausted" "Man who drive like hell, bound to get there" "Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly" "Foolish man give wife grand piano....
• Oxymoron: one who has used too much acne goo?
• A Conservative is a Liberal who got mugged!
• Calling in Sick.... A Cat Owner's Story Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.
  On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating to reveal....
• All generalizations are false (this one too)
• Last year on '20/20' Barbara Walters did a documentary on the customs of American Indians.
  After a tour of the reservation, she inquired as to how the number feathers in the indians' headdress was determined....
• Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of the American Indians.
  After a tour of the reservation they lived on, she asked why there was a difference in the number of feathers found in the headdresses of the various Indians....