There once was an career aggie who was well into his 12th year at A&M. His
father, an arch-supporting alumni, was growing tired of his son not having
graduated yet. He himself took only 10 years. So he pressured the dean to
simply graduate his son and be done with it. Not wanting to give preferen-
tial treatment to the rich alumni, but still wanting his substantial finan-
cial support, the dean decided to test the boy and, if he passed the exam,
then he would grant him his graduate degree. So the dean called the son
into his office and explained the matter, telling him he only had three
questions and that it was an overnight, open book, test (Not wanting to
leave anything up to chance). Then he listed the questions:
1. How many Days of the Week begin with a "T"?
2. How many Seconds are there in a Year?
3. How many "D's" are there in DIXIE?
The youth hurried home and began to work. The next day he returned to the
dean's office, obviously worn to a frazzle, having stayed up all night
working. The dean asked him, "Okay son, for the first question, how many
days of the week begin with a "T", what is your answer?" The son said,
"Well, 'course that was the first and easiest one ... There are two days,"
(The dean smiled) "Today and Tomorrow!" The dean began to sweat and wiped
his face. "Well I suppose there is a certain amount of truth to that answer,
so I'll accept it. Now, for the second question: How many seconds are there
in a year? The son replied, "You know that had me workin' a long time, till
I looked at my calendar fer help. Then it come to me: there are 12 seconds
in a year. The 2nd of January, 2nd of Feb ..." The Dean almost lost it, but
then regained composure. "Son," he said, "I believe we misphrased the
question, so I'm going to give you credit for it. Now, for the third and
final question, how many D's are there in "Dixie"? The lad just smiled,
and said, "That's the one what kept me up all night until I got it right!
There are 232 D's!" he said proudly. "What do you mean, 232?" sputtered the
dean. "How did you come up with that?" "Well, you gotta just count like
this: Dee Dee Dee, De De De De Dee Dee Deeee ..."
(to the tune of Dixie)
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...