After many years of marriage John was suddenly very ill. The
doctors ran test after test but could not determine what was
wrong. Finally he was admitted to hospital. Every day he got
worse and worse. Just when everything looked blackest he woke
up asked for eggs and grits. Soon he was nearly back to his
old self and was told they would release him the next day.
To surprise her husband, Joan showed up in a limousine. John
was surprised at her extravagance but held his piece. After
riding for a while he could not contain himself and complained
about the expense of renting a "limo".
"Oh, don't worry about the money dear, we own it."
This was almost too much for John. "My God, women where do you
get off taking our life savings and buying such a toy!"
"Now, now dear, don't get upset. I didn't touch a penny of the
savings. As a matter of fact there are a few other things I
need to tell you about." Then she proceed to point out
several pieces of property that they own, some of them large
downtown buildings.
Just a little more than little impressed he asks where all the
money came from to acquire all this wealth.
"Do you remember when we got married and every time we made
love you put $10 in a jar? Well, I invested the money and over
the years have built up a nice retirement account."
"Jeees", he said, "If I'd a know that, I'd a given you all my
business!!"
ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß Q U I C K L O S S D I E T ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß #err!
doctors ran test after test but could not determine what was
wrong. Finally he was admitted to hospital. Every day he got
worse and worse. Just when everything looked blackest he woke
up asked for eggs and grits. Soon he was nearly back to his
old self and was told they would release him the next day.
To surprise her husband, Joan showed up in a limousine. John
was surprised at her extravagance but held his piece. After
riding for a while he could not contain himself and complained
about the expense of renting a "limo".
"Oh, don't worry about the money dear, we own it."
This was almost too much for John. "My God, women where do you
get off taking our life savings and buying such a toy!"
"Now, now dear, don't get upset. I didn't touch a penny of the
savings. As a matter of fact there are a few other things I
need to tell you about." Then she proceed to point out
several pieces of property that they own, some of them large
downtown buildings.
Just a little more than little impressed he asks where all the
money came from to acquire all this wealth.
"Do you remember when we got married and every time we made
love you put $10 in a jar? Well, I invested the money and over
the years have built up a nice retirement account."
"Jeees", he said, "If I'd a know that, I'd a given you all my
business!!"
ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß Q U I C K L O S S D I E T ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß #err!
Related:
- The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah... - Fresh Every 2.7 Days
PEE YU PLATTER
Clothes Pins Extra
HOO FLUNG POO
Napkins & Raincoats Provided
SUC SUM TIT
Children's Special
YUNG POON TANG
No Take Out Orders Accepted
LUNCHEON SPECIALS
SUM YUNG CHICK.
$6.99 Different and Delicious ... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and
tried striking up a conversation .
"Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies... - My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole
package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's... - The Wizard of Zone
Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little
black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived
on a farm.
He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt...
From the same category:
- By John Hooper in Madrid
A question left hanging by John Cleese-
what is the value of a dead parrot?-- has finally... - One night a guy got to the ballpark late. He saw three old ladies in the
stands -
passed out with an empty bottle of booze beside them... - From Mark Brader's <msb@sq.com> .signature:
".
one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire... - Heard in the office...
She: Would you like to see my new dress?
He: I'd like nothing better. jbowe@bbn... - Editors Note:
Here it is folks, the oneliner file.
Over the past year, I have received several short...
