º PLAYBOY'S PARTY Jokes April 1990 º
An unemployed stripper begged her agent to
find her work. He cautioned her that the only job
available was at a longshoremen's convention--
typically a rough gig. Because she was broke, she
took the job anyway.
That evening, the agent walked into the hall
just as the stripper began her act. Before long,
the unruly crowd began pelting her with crushed
beer cans and cigarette butts while shouting
obscenities, issuing lewd catcalls and trying to
manhandle her. Halfway through her performance,
she ran off stage, sobbing.
"Look, they don't mean anything by it," the
agent said consolingly. "They've just had too
much to drink and----"
"No, no it's not them!" she exclaimed. "Did you
hear that f***ing band?"
Two miserable inhabitants of hell were taking a
walk when a frigid breeze blew. A moment later, a
storm dumped several inches of snow, reducing
the blazing fires to sizzling steam. The men
looked around in amazement.
"What do you suppose is going on?" one asked.
"Only thing I can figure," the other said, "is
that the Cubs went to the series."
Two doctors were putting on the ninth green
when one collapsed from a heart attack. "Help
me," he groaned to his companion.
"Sorry, my malpractice insurance won't cover
it," his partner replied, walking off the green,
"but I'll get help."
A few minutes later, he returned, picked up his
club and began lining up hit putt. The man on
the ground raised his head and screamed in
Disbelief, "I'm dying and you're putting?"
"Don't worry. I found a doctor on the second
hole who said he'd come and help."
"The second hole? When the hell is he coming?"
"Hey, I told you not to worry," he said, stroking
his put. "They're going to let him play through."
Why did the Siamese twins got to England?
So the other one could drive for a while.
What did Dan Quayle say when Mrs. Quayle blew
softly in his ear?
"Thanks for the refill."
An unemployed stripper begged her agent to
find her work. He cautioned her that the only job
available was at a longshoremen's convention--
typically a rough gig. Because she was broke, she
took the job anyway.
That evening, the agent walked into the hall
just as the stripper began her act. Before long,
the unruly crowd began pelting her with crushed
beer cans and cigarette butts while shouting
obscenities, issuing lewd catcalls and trying to
manhandle her. Halfway through her performance,
she ran off stage, sobbing.
"Look, they don't mean anything by it," the
agent said consolingly. "They've just had too
much to drink and----"
"No, no it's not them!" she exclaimed. "Did you
hear that f***ing band?"
Two miserable inhabitants of hell were taking a
walk when a frigid breeze blew. A moment later, a
storm dumped several inches of snow, reducing
the blazing fires to sizzling steam. The men
looked around in amazement.
"What do you suppose is going on?" one asked.
"Only thing I can figure," the other said, "is
that the Cubs went to the series."
Two doctors were putting on the ninth green
when one collapsed from a heart attack. "Help
me," he groaned to his companion.
"Sorry, my malpractice insurance won't cover
it," his partner replied, walking off the green,
"but I'll get help."
A few minutes later, he returned, picked up his
club and began lining up hit putt. The man on
the ground raised his head and screamed in
Disbelief, "I'm dying and you're putting?"
"Don't worry. I found a doctor on the second
hole who said he'd come and help."
"The second hole? When the hell is he coming?"
"Hey, I told you not to worry," he said, stroking
his put. "They're going to let him play through."
Why did the Siamese twins got to England?
So the other one could drive for a while.
What did Dan Quayle say when Mrs. Quayle blew
softly in his ear?
"Thanks for the refill."
Related:
- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here.... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals.... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around.... - RACIAL/ETHNIC
There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish.... - The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
"Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip.... - The Wizard of Zone
Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little
black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived
on a farm.
He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy.... - Proof By Intimidation
----- -- ------------
A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front.... - A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the
animal hide with which they made their blanket.
Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide....
