An unemployed stripper begged her agent to
find her work. He cautioned her that the only job
available was at a longshoremen's convention--
typically a rough gig. Because she was broke, she
took the job anyway.
That evening, the agent walked into the hall
just as the stripper began her act. Before long,
the unruly crowd began pelting her with crushed
beer cans and cigarette butts while shouting
obscenities, issuing lewd catcalls and trying to
manhandle her. Halfway through her performance,
she ran off stage, sobbing.
"Look, they don't mean anything by it," the
agent said consolingly. "They've just had too
much to drink and----"
"No, no it's not them!" she exclaimed. "Did you
hear that f***ing band?"
Two miserable inhabitants of hell were taking a
walk when a frigid breeze blew. A moment later, a
storm dumped several inches of snow, reducing
the blazing fires to sizzling steam. The men
looked around in amazement.
"What do you suppose is going on?" one asked.
"Only thing I can figure," the other said, "is
that the Cubs went to the series."
Two doctors were putting on the ninth green
when one collapsed from a heart attack. "Help
me," he groaned to his companion.
"Sorry, my malpractice insurance won't cover
it," his partner replied, walking off the green,
"but I'll get help."
A few minutes later, he returned, picked up his
club and began lining up hit putt. The man on
the ground raised his head and screamed in
Disbelief, "I'm dying and you're putting?"
"Don't worry. I found a doctor on the second
hole who said he'd come and help."
"The second hole? When the hell is he coming?"
"Hey, I told you not to worry," he said, stroking
his put. "They're going to let him play through."
Why did the Siamese twins got to England?
So the other one could drive for a while.
What did Dan Quayle say when Mrs. Quayle blew
softly in his ear?
"Thanks for the refill."