Related:

• Drinkwiski is working at the lumberyard pushing a tree through the buzz saw when he accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers.
  He goes to the emergency room. The doctor takes a look and goes, "Yuck!...
• Dr. Seuss Strikes Again!!! Can we count them with our nose?
  Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band?...
• Trouble Remembering Things... An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
  When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory....
• Oh how I tried But instead broke down and cried Over food I stir fried for my friends.
  Went next door to pester an oriental master A cook from a far distand land....
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• I HAD A BAD DAY It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
  The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died....
• I Like 'em Dead I was just 13 when my mommy caught me French-kissing a cadaver in my bed.
  She said, "Son, how could you do this?" And I said "Mom, I like 'em dead....
• Kids Say the Darndest Things (Young Wisdom - Out of the Mouths of Babes) A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
  On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens....
• Idiot Olympic Questions Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied where appropriate.
  Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?...