Once There Was A Man Who Went All Through College And Decided He Didn't Like It, So He Dropped Out To Become A Trolley Car Conductor.

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Once there was a man who went all through college and decided he didn't
like it, so he dropped out to become a trolley car conductor...He loved
the trolley cars...he had loved them since he had been a child in San
Francisco...every day he would watch the trolley cars go up the hill and
down the hill; up the hill and down the hill...and he loved to watch
them...except when old people got on the trolley cars, because they used
to complain about the littlest (sic) things...as the man grew older he
developed a hatred of old people, while retaining his love of trolley
So it was no surprise that the man, upon dropping out of school, decided
to become a trolley car conductor...he spent his days going up the hill
and down the hill; up the hill and down the hill, ringing the trolley
bell as he went...UNTIL...one day an old lady got on the trolley car and
demanded change for the money she had put in the vend-o-matic, even
there was a sign clearly posting that the conductor did not make
the conductor refused to make change for her, and this infuriated the
lady...at this point she began screaming at him and making such a scene
that he lost control and threw her out on the trolley car tracks and ran
over her...needless to say, he was arrested, tried, and found guilty...
He was sentenced to die in the electric chair, and when the warden came
to ask him what he wanted for his last meal, he responded "a dozen
The warden was a bit surprised at the request, but honored it and the
promptly smashed up the bananas and smeared the juice all over his
He was then taken to the electric chair and strapped in...ZAP...the
executioner threw the switch, but the man lived...the executioner
all the connections and threw the switch again...the man still lived...
the executioner tried a third time, but the man still lived...now at
time, the law stated that if you didn't die by the third time, it was an
act of God that you were still alive and you were released, so the man
He returned to his job at the trolley car...(go through the deaths of
more old people and trials and bananas smashed on bodies and three tries
and man going free from electric chair)...after the man was set free for
the third time, the warden approached him..."Three times you've been
sentenced to die in the electric chair and three times, you've gone
tell me why...is it the banana juice that you smear all over your body
before going to the chair??"
The man thought for a moment, and then slowly replied, "No, I don't
it's the bananas...I guess I'm just a bad conductor..."