Heard A Wonderful News Report On The Radio Today: Seems That There Are Some Folks, Somewhere In The U.

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Heard a wonderful news report on the radio today: Seems that there are some
folks, somewhere in the U.S., who are passing bank checks which are chemically
treated so that several hours after they've been passed they self destruct.
(No, I'm not talking about the U.S. government, they don't erode their money,
just its underlying value, and they do it much more slowly so as to not get
everybody too pissed off at them all at once.)
Anyway, back to the self-destructing checks: The radio news report ended
by quoting a local law-enforcer as saying that it is difficult to nail somebody
for passing bad checks when the whole problem is that the checks in question
basically don't exist any more!

There was a famous exchange between Gladstone and Disraeli who were bitter
G: You sir, will either die on the gallows or from a venereal disease!
D: That sir depends on whether I embrace your principals or your mistress!

What do Clarence Thomas and Pee Wee Herman have in common?
They both watch X-rated movies and abuse their staff.

Did you hear that the cops arrested Eddie Murphy after his last concert?
He's being charged with 'Impersonating a Supreme Court Justice'.

What do hillbillies do on Halloween?