Airplane Humor
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Question: What separates flight attendants from the scum of the earth?
Answer: The cockpit door.
Pilot's bumper sticker:
Don't tell my mother I'm an airline pilot. She thinks
I'm a piano player in a whore house.
Heard from the flight attendant:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until the captain
has come to a complete stop. We don't want you arriving at the gate
before the plane does."
[ It's my opinion that "Please remain seated until the airplane has arrived
at the gate" are the 11 most ignored words in the English language. - ed ]
Tracy LaQuey
Computation Center, The University of Texas at Austin
-------------
Question: What separates flight attendants from the scum of the earth?
Answer: The cockpit door.
Pilot's bumper sticker:
Don't tell my mother I'm an airline pilot. She thinks
I'm a piano player in a whore house.
Heard from the flight attendant:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until the captain
has come to a complete stop. We don't want you arriving at the gate
before the plane does."
[ It's my opinion that "Please remain seated until the airplane has arrived
at the gate" are the 11 most ignored words in the English language. - ed ]
Tracy LaQuey
Computation Center, The University of Texas at Austin
Related:
- From tracy@ut-emx.UUCP Tue Dec 13 05:30:07 1988
Flags:
000000000000 From: tracy@ut-emx.UUCP (Tracy LaQuey)... - Airplane Humor
Here are some actual humorous statements by several airline flights crews.
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to... - Hilarious Flight Information from the Airline Employees
Occasionally,
airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight... - Tracy LaQuey
Computation Center,
The University of Texas at... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw:
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can... - A Scary Ride
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.
After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the... - Federal Aviation Administration,
Washington, D.C.
Gentlemen:
I was asked to make a written statement concerning... - Federal Aviation Agency,
Washington 25, D.C.
Gentlemen:
I was asked to make a written statement concerning... - 2) On a small commuter flight one sunny day, the captain was told his passengers
were nervous about being on a "small airplane." He decided to take action:
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your...
From the same category:
- A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby,
so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who... - How many magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Into what... - hypocrisy : complaining that there is too much sex and violence on your VCR !
There once was a beautiful indian maiden, who was so... - How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to screw in
a light bulb?
Five. While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing... - Two neighbors were discussing gardening one afternoon.
The lady from next door remarked, "My but you have...
