Related:

• Q: Did you hear Karen Carpenter's brother's new song? A: "She Ain't Heavy, She's My Sister.
• There was a young man from Saint Paul Who went to a masquerade ball.
  Just for a stunt He went dressed as a cunt, And was fucked by a dog in the hall....
• One day St. Peter had to go on some very important business, so he left a minor saint in charge of the Pearly Gates and instructed him to get proof of identity before he let anyone in.
  So the minor saint was sitting around when Beethoven arrived....
• A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.
  "Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy....
• Carpenter's Rule: Cut to fit; beat into place.
• Astronaut--Whirled traveler. Skydiver--a guy whose talks fall flat.
  Carpenter--a guy who nails down his agreement. Surrey-makers--always looking for fringe benefits....
• Three nuns die and go to heaven, at the pearly gates they are confronted by Saint Peter who says "Well girls before you can get into heaven you must answer a question.
  Saint Peter asks the first nun, "Who was the first man on earth?...