"... my landlady insists on speaking german to me at every opportunity.
Having 6 year old kids come up to you and say "ggbbdbffbtttllgghhx lldfggbhjk
ffbgglskxksii??" (that's what it sounds like to american ears) is somewhat
humbling. A typical conversation (such as the one I had this morning
at the train station) between myself and Johahn Schmidt (John Smith)
goes something like this:
JS = random german person with sudden need to talk to confused looking
american person sitting on station platform..
CA = Confused American (me)
[ xxx ] = portion of german actually understood by CA
JS: "ggdbffhbbl shdaxjla [ train ] mfflufftagglt [ what] flkiftag?"
CA: (startled) "Huh?"
JS: "flafguhg ylakfoo pwit?"
CA: "Uh. Um. Ich spreche .. um. kein deutch." (I don't speak german)
JS: "fllggaift? Nicht? maflufa gggg pwomp sneerg?"
CA: (more slowly) "Uh. Meine deutch is nicht gut!" (My german is not good!)
JS: "Ah! maflufhag fwafahwafa [american] ggglikahst gnug [german] fggg."
CA: "Yeah. What you said."
JS: "llaflufa gag pwit narg foof! Gewacka wacka!"
CA: "You need change? A light? Directions? Some nuclear waste?" (pulls
change from pocket and gestures at it, in hopes that it is the first).
"Things usually proceed in this fashion until I end up staring at my feet
hoping that god will make this person go away soon. JS generally gets bored
at this point and asks someone else whatever was being asked."
Jordan Hubbard
(via Paul Vixie, reprinted without permission)
Editors Note:
Here it is folks, the oneliner file. Over the past year, I have
received several short submissions that were mildly funny, but
not quite good enough or topical enough to merit their own posting....
