Related:

• While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient's shins were covered with dark, savage bruises.
  "Tell me," said the doctor, "Do you play hockey or soccer?...
• Q> How many blondes does it take to play tag? A> One.
  (think about it) "Practice safe government -- use a kingdom....
• The Seven Dwarfs were having an audience with the pope when Dopey raised his hand and said, "Excuse me?
  Your Holiness?" The pope said, "Yes, my son? What can I do for you?...
• Ways To Send Packages During the UPS Strike 15> Use FedEx's new "Not Very Important" class.
  14> Looks like that battalion of army ants you've been training can be used for more than just conquering the world....
• 5000 years ago Moses said, "Pack up you camel, pick up your shovel, mount your ass, and I will lead you to the promised land.
  5000 years later, F. D. Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass and light up a camel, this is the promised land....
• GOOD, BAD and WORSE Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
  Bad : You Can't find your birth control pills Worse...
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Santa Sued For Checking List Twice... AUSTIN, TX (Dec.
  23) - Attorneys for filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice....
• Birth Control at 72? An elderly woman went into the doctor's office.
  When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth-control pills....