A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his
graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities:
#1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
#2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my
Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with
you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is
exothermic.
The student got the only A.
graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities:
#1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
#2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my
Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with
you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is
exothermic.
The student got the only A.
Related:
- The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt... - Arizona Diary:
May 30th
Just moved to Tucson, Arizona.
Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - THE LATEST AND GREATEST AS COMPILED ON 18th October 1991,
The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes (167) ... - The USENET Guide to Power Posting
1. Conspiracies abound:
If everyone's against you, the reason can't *possibly*... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
(Whispering voice:) "What do you WANT it to be?" ...
From the same category:
- Surgery:
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants... - Appearances...
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding.
As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed... - The First Time Hunting Together
A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said, "Stay here and be VERY QUIET. I'll... - Going To A Hockey Game...
Three Canadians and three Americans were traveling to a hockey game.
The three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the... - God And Eve In The Garden Of Eden
One day in the Garden of Eden,
Eve calls out to God. "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's...
