Ever since I was a young boy, Megabogue
I've sprayed phones in the mall. "Brick Wall Painter"
From Footscray to Beaumaris Pommy
I must have sprayed them all. MoccaSIN
But I ain't seen anything like him,
In any children's court...
That deaf dumb and blind bogue
Sure paints a mean brick wall!
He's a brick wall painter
He has to be a twit.
A brick wall painter,
He's really such a git.
Why do you think he does it? I don't know!
What is the appeal?
Rejection of society,
Or something deep like that,
That's what the doctors tell us
But it's a load of crap.
He's really just a vandal, Megabogue
And very bad at that... "Brick Wall Painter"
That deaf dumb and blind bogue Pommy
What a stupid twat! MoccaSIN
I remember from some random class I took when I was in middle school that you
can create a grammatically correct sentence with just the word "Buffalo," as
buffalo is an animal (a noun), a place (a proper noun which can be used as an
adjective) and a verb (meaning to bewilder). Thus, you can have "Buffalo
buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." as a perfectly correct sentence that will
confuse people nicely!!!!
"The only difference between a cheerleader's mother
and a pit bull is the lipstick."
"The uniform companies love us."
- Principal of Plainfield, Indiana HS where
anyone who wants to can be a cheerleader,
so they have 73 (!) cheer leaders.
"The difference between life and the movies is that a script
has to make sense, and life doesn't." - Joseph L. Mankiewicz
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?
He couldn't control his pupils!
If I had five sweets and a girl asked me for one, how many would I have left?
Five!
What happened to the blonde who slept with her head under the pillow?
The tooth fairy came and took all her teeth out!
What do you call a girl with two toilets?
Lulu!
What do you get if you cross a bear with a skunk?
Winnie the Phew!
Why did the blind chicken cross the road?
To get to the bird's eye shop!
Where does the ten-ton eagle sleep?
Anywhere it likes!
Contact: Half a lecture, ten minutes of answering questions and an hour
of boring student presentations per week.
Prerequisite: Understanding of broken English for lectures.
Syllabus: Data communications concepts and facilities: trying to
understand lecturer and keep up with notes; Data communications
codes and hardware; Packet-switched something-or-others; Local area
thingies; ISO, ANSI, OSI, RSI and other acronyms containing the
letters I and S.
References: A pile of 4 books costing $40 each, weighing 3 tons between
them, which you'll never actually need in tutes.
LEC301 INSULTING LECTURERS 1 - CLOTHING PART 1------------------------
Contact: Three lectures per week.
Prerequisite: Sense of fashion, shame, LEC304 (Entering lectures late).
Syllabus: Skivvies, cords, flares, daggy shirts, hairy jumpers,
introductory anonymous insults.
LIB203 QUEUEING UP FOR PHOTOCOPIERS-----------------------------------
Contact: Three hours queueing per week.
Prerequisite: Patience
Syllabus: Working the change machine; finding the end of the queue;
filling in time in the queue; queue jumping.
Reference: Long books for filling in time.
Contact: Two hour lecture plus two hour drunken rampage per week.
Prerequisite: Alcoholism (recommended)
Syllabus: Finding a good pub; getting on the piss; getting pissed;
getting pissed off; finding a pissoir; giving up and pissing over
the bar; pissing off the barman; picking a fight; pissing off home
before the cops arrive.
References: Carlton United Breweries catalogue 1991.
SFT311 SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT 5-----------------------------------------
Contact: Half a lecture in a monotone voice and a lab session on the
nice shiny new X-terminals in E block if you're lucky.
Prerequisite: SFT211, SFT212, ability to withstand fatal levels of
boredom.
Syllabus: 4th generation languages; why they're so bloody incredible;
fiddling with X-windows; waiting for tutors; finding which lab
you're in this week; conning assignment answers out of tutors;
getting that potato chip out of the keyboard.
References: Lecture notes available in the bookshop, meaning you can
skip the lectures!
SYS216 INFORMATION SYSTEMS 4------------------------------------------
Contact: Two one hour lectures (if they don't clash with your other
subjects) and a two hour tutorial (hopefully not with RK!)
Prerequisite: SYS215 (twice if you failed it last year), SFT112, COT114.
Syllabus: Software ergonomics; falling asleep in lectures; arranging
yourselves into groups in tutes; cutting up bits of paper and
drawing little diagrams in the name of user-friendliness;
explaining to your mates why you were the only one to get a
distinction in that last test.
References: Page-Jones, M., The Practical Guide To Books You'll Never
Read, Yourdough Press, 1988.
Related:
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
