Five-Year Solitary Three tourists were traveling in South America:

Five-Year Solitary
Three tourists were traveling in South America: an Irishman, a Frenchman and
a blond American. They all found themselves in a bar in a small Latin
American country which was ruled by a strict dictator. As luck would have
it, they got into an argument and a bar fight soon started. The local
military police arrived and arrested them.
At their trial before a tribunal, they learned their luck was even worse
than they had thought. The bar was owned by the brother of the dictator. The
three of them were promptly sentenced to five years in solitary confinement.
Before they were taken away to prison, the judge said, "You are foreigners
to our country. I will grant you each one favor. You may choose one item to
help you pass the time in our prison. What do you wish for?"
The Irishman asked for a five years supply of fine Irish whiskey. The
Frenchman asked for a five year supply of fine French wine. The blond
American requests a five year supply of cigarettes. The judge grants all
three requests. The three were led off to prison and thrown into individual
cells down in the dark, damp basement of the prison.
Five years later they were let out one by one. First the Irishman was
released. He staggered out, drunk, barely able to stand, and quickly
stumbled out of the prison without saying a word. The Frenchman was released
next. He swaggered out, rather drunk himself, and walked out into freedom.
The blond American was released last. He stepped out into freedom and said,
"Does anyone have a %&$*&@# match?"