Dr. Smith And Dr. Jones... Two Doctors Opened Offices In A Small Town And Put Up A Sign Reading

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Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones...
Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology".
The town's fathers were not too happy with that sign, so they changed it to:
"Hysteria and Posteriors".
This was not acceptable either, so they changed the sign to:
"Schizoids and Hemorrhoids".
No go, so they tried:
"Catatonics and High Colonics".
Thumbs down again, so they tried:
"Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives.":
Still not good, so they tried:
"Minds and Behinds".
Still no go. Nor did:
"Analysis and Anal Cysts",
"Nuts and Butts",
"Freaks and Cheeks" or
"Loons and Moons" work either, so they finally settled on:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."