Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old,
you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half-full...of
course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating
Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans...we are no
longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see
your rear end without turning around.
Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws you curves...and that you're now
sitting on your biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and
scream, "Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those things will
Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself...and your chins follow suit.
You become more reflective in mid-life. You start pondering the "big"
questions -- what is life, why am I here...how much Healthy Choice ice cream
can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...