Things That Can Drive A Sane Person Insane
** The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
** There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray .
** You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic
tag in the middle of them.
** The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of
your ankle.
** The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
** There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an
address.
** You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
** There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at Everything.
** You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
** Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and
discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
** You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a
cigarette.
** You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
** Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a
reading.
** A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but
buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
** You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry
comes out covered with lint.
** The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish
crossing.
** A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.
** You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7 PM instead of 7 am.
** You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
** Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
** You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary
because you don't know how to spell it.
** You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that
you're just browsing.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
