Related:

• USComputer Lexicon By Cornelius Unicorn Beginne
  A person who believes more than one-sixteenth of a computer salesperson's spiel....
• YOU KNOW YOU NEED AN UPGRADE... when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before Windows 95 finishes booting when you call tech support and they say your version of software has been obsolete for 5 years when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones if your PC is big enough to use as an end table if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization that will take it as a donation when you can no longer find those special metallic cassette tapes when everyone's raving about hooking their computers up to the television and you'd never used any other kind of monitor hey
  I'm NOT upgrading my VIC 20, OK?!!! when your calculator has more RAM than your computer when your watch has more RAM than your computer when you realize that they don't use tapes anymore when it takes a Chevy pickup to haul your disk drive away when you're getting bored of those stupid Atari games like Frogger when your computer doesn't give you "nice" system errors like "Bad Command or file name" and instead formats your hard drive when you're getting tired of typing in ones and zeros when your abacus gets termites when "Solitaire" only has enough memory to use half the deck when you get the error message "Don't open so many goddam Windows at once!...
• COMPUTERWORLD 1 April CREATORS ADMIT UNIX, C HOAX In an announcement that has stunned the computer industry
  Ken Thompson, Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan admitted that the Unix operating system and C programming language created by them is an elaborate April Fools prank kept alive for over 20 years....
• Computer Dictionary 386: No, 486: Oops, Pentium: The only chip to consider if you're thinking of buying a PC.
  Until Intel ramps up the 686. 640K: The salary the average Wall Street PC analyst pulls in each year....
• Congratulations on your purchase of a CAT Unit! This model contains the following feature
  * User Friendly * Mouse Driven * Self Cleaning * Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use * Self Portable Operation * Dual Video and Audio Input * Audio Output * Auto Search Routines for Input Data * Auto Search for Output Bin * Instant Transition (2 nanoseconds) Between Standby and Full Power Mode Production Detail...
• Murphy's Military Laws 1. You are not superman.
  2. If it's stupid but works, it isnt stupid. 3....
• THE PERSONAL COMPUTER AWARENESS DICTIONARY ****************************************** Do you feel confused by the jargon of the personal computer revolution?
  Afraid to enter the world of the computer salesmen to browse because you don't understand their language?...
• Another Windows '95 joke Microsoft Windows 95 Stuns World Redmond
  Wash (AP) - Fans and detractors of the long-awaited Microsoft Windows 95 have been stunned and amazed by the incredible events surrounding the August 24 release....
• GOING POSTAL You've heard the recently coined slang phrase "Going Postal".
  Here are some more examples, from the book "Jargon Watch", just published by Wired magazine....