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• A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday.
  He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result....
• A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account.
  The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars....
• The Old Man A self-important young man goes out and buys the best car available
  a 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo. It is one of the fastest and most expensive cars in the world....
• Speedy A hip young man goes out and buys a 1997 Ferrari GTO.
  It is the best and most expensive car available in the world, costing about $...
• One day a guy was sitting on a bus next to an old lady who was filling out a crossword puzzle.
  Just when he thought the trip was getting boring when the old lady leaned over and asked, "Excuse me, but can you help me with this puzzle?...
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• PAINT IT LIKE A COW The Fair. I hadn’t been to one of these
  “regional events, held annually, consisting of farm and home product displays, and various competitions and entertainments,” since childhood....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...