One night in the pub, the publican is lamenting the fact that business
is so quiet on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. As he moans to some of the
regulars a stranger, dressed in a tweed jacket and wearing glasses wanders over
and says,
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I'm a
doctor at the lunatic asylum up the road and I'm trying to integrate some of
the more sane individuals into the community. Why don't I bring some of my
patients along, say next Tuesday. You'll have some customers and my patients
will have a night out !"
Well, the publican isn't sure but the thought of more paying customers on
a quiet night appeals, so he agrees. So, the following Tuesday the guy in the
tweed jacket and glasses shows up with about ten lunatics. He says to the
publican,
"Give them whatever they want, put it on a tab and I'll settle up at
closing time."
The publican has a great time selling loads of drinks and encouraging
the loonies to eat crisps and peanuts. The loonies have a great time, getting
drunk but they behave themselves. At closing time the publican adds up the
bill and it comes to just over a hundred pounds ! The guy with the glasses and
the tweed jacket starts to organise the loonies ready to take them back to
the asylum. Finally he comes over and asks for the bill. The publican, feeling
that he's charged them rather a lot and feeling he should do his bit to help
these poor unfortunate people gives him a discount.
"Its eighty quid," he says. The guy in the tweed jacket smiles and says,
"That's fine. Have you got change for a dustbin lid ?"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
