* You worry about getting sued for self-esteem violations.
* You believe the staff room should be equipped with Valium salt
* You stand on your front porch instructing the neighbor children to
* Junior Highers make you feel old but you could not be paid to be
that age again...
* You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to only
work 8 - 3 and have your summers free."
* You refer to adults as "boys and girls".
* You encourage your husband by telling him he is a "good helper".
* You believe chocolate is a major food group.
* You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
* You believe "extremely annoying" should have its own box on the
* You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says,
"Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."
* When you are out in public you snap your fingers at children who
* You give your husband "the look" when he "misbehaves."
* You have no life from August through June.
* Putting all A's on the report card would be so much easier.
* You think people should be required to get a government permit
before being allowed to reproduce, earned by having worked in a
middle school for 5 years.
* You encourage a parent to check into home schooling.
* You can't have children of your own because there isn't a name
you can hear that wouldn't elevate your blood pressure.
* You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
* You think that caffeine should be available in I V form.
* Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is
this kid like that?"
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W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...