AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through
labor to have sex again.
BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am
too.
DEFENSE: what you'd better have around de yard if you're
going to let de children play outside.
DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order
dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper
distance apart to keep you on the edge of
financial disaster
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't
appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are
wonderful even though they're sure you're not
raising them right.
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they
do everything we say.
LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the
time you scream it
PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.
PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by
boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it
STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket
aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach
anything.
TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to
not upset the children.
THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit
into one bed.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman
jammies.
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she
begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words
WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you
out.
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.
WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a
sponge."
GIGGLE'S HUMOR LIST (C) Copyright 1997, All rights reserved.
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W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
