The following just goes to show what can happen when you have too much
time on your hands.
There were two cows sitting in a field. The first cow says to the other,
"Hey, did you hear about that Mad Cow Disease?" So the other says,
"Yeah, that's the one that makes your brain die out and turn to jello,
right?" The first cow says, "Yeah, aren't you afraid of getting it?" The
other cow says, "No, I'm a tractor!"
Once there was this man. He had two peas up his nose, a carrot in one
ear and a some celery in the other ear. He went to the doctor and said,
"I'm not feeling well." The doctor said, "You're not eating right."
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we
poisonous snakes?" The other replied, "Your darn right we are, we are
rattlesnakes why do you ask?" To which the first replied, "I just bit my
Satan goes up to a lawyer and says, "I'll give you a million dollars for
your soul." The lawyer says, "Sounds good, what's the
What's the difference between a blonde and a grocery cart? Grocery carts
have a mind of their own.