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• The Top 16 Plays Shakespeare Chose Not to Publish 16> Christopher Marlowe Can Kiss My Elizabethan Ass 15> Henry VIII
  I Am, I Am 14> Fast Times at Verona High 13> A Midsummer Night's Nocturnal Emission 12> Om'let 11> Love's Fing'r Pulled 10> Romeo & Steve 9> Twelfth Night, Children Stay Free 8> Felines 7> Henry VIII was a Big Fat Idiot 6> Six Degrees of Francis Bacon 5> Stratford-upon-Avon 90210 4> Hamlet II - Where the hell is everybody?...
• The Top 15 Other Album/Movie Synchronizations 15> No Doubt's "Tragic Kingdom" / "Hamlet" 14> "The Godfather" / "And Then He Kissed Me" 13> "Evita" the soundtrack / "Evita" the movie 12> "Like A Virgin" / "The Untouchables" 11> Alanis Morisette's "Jagged Little Pill" / "Sybil" 10> "Bad" / "Batman & Robin" 9> Sesame Street's "It's Not Easy Being Green" / "Leaving Las Vegas" 8> "The Nutcracker Suite" / "Hang 'em High" 7> "Help!
  / "Jaws" 6> John Tesh's "Live at Red Rocks" / "Mars Attacks!...
• Rejected Sidekick Names 15> The Sidekick Formerly Known as Tonto 14> Al Gore 13> HansonLad 12> Andrew Ridgely 11> Guano Boy 10> The Lapdance Kid 9> Minor in a Dubious Living Arrangement With a Bachelor Mentor 8> VomitBoy 7> Caller of 911 6> Easily-Wedgied Wally 5> Passive-Agressive Middle Child 4> The Well-Meaning But Decidedly Dense Guy 3> Buttockshead 2> Vulnerabo and the Number 1 Rejected Sidekick Name.
  .. 1> The Mighty Colosto This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc....
• The Top 16 Cartoon Characters Who Failed to Catch On 16> Bugs Bobbitt 15> Peter Rabbi 14> Heidi and the Pussycats 13> Dagmar and Rune
  he anatomically correct Swedish crimefighters 12> Pepe LePuke 11> MilitiaMan and the UnaBomber Squad 10> Herman the Squeezable Mollusk 9> Sparkles, the 3-legged puppy with an eye infection 8> Namby-Pamby Man 7> Intravenous Todd and Metaphor, the Really, Horrible Rotten Horse 6> Strom 'n Jesse 5> The Tasmanian Dustbunny 4> Lil' Pus, the Oozing Scab-Faced Boy 3> Victor Vulture, Attorney at Law 2> Yosemite Todd, Sam's "Houseboy" and the Number 1 Cartoon Characters Who Failed to Catch On....
• New Movies Starring Christian Slater 15> "Biting Raoul" 14> "Dentl" 13> "Alien IV
  Going Back In" 12> "Belly Jack" 11> "Breakfast at Tiffany's Spleen" 10> "Edward Scissorteeth" 9> "Untasted Heart" 8> "Young Gums" 7> "The Three Mouthketeers" (with Marv Albert and Mike Tyson) 6> "Broken Arrow Shirt" 5> "My Dinner of Andre" 4> "The Story of a Man Who Went, Without Surgery, From An Being an Outie to an Innie" 3> "Who's That Eating Gilbert Grape?...
• The Top 15 Rejected Pro Wrestling Names 15> Peaches & Herb (tag team) 14> Macho
  Macho Man 13> Cyberboy Gates 12> Andre the Vertically Enhanced Weinie 11> Jimmy the Carter 10> Liberace, Jr....
• The Top 15 Least Useful Technologies of the Future 15> ASCII IMAX theaters 14> ChocoAlchemy -- converts "Yoo Hoo" to "Nestle's Quik" 13> "Mr.
  Scratchy" Self-Adjusting Cup for Major League Ballplayers 12> New wraparound 12 TV picture tube engineered for optimal TNN line-dancing display 11> Pod bay doors 10> The "I Can't Believe It's Not Tofu!...
• The Top 15 Attractions at Michael Jackson's Amusement Park in Poland 15> The Jackson Siblings' Career Slide!
  14> Kid Who Played Webster Petting Zoo 13> The Rusty Antique Moonwalk 12> The "Now Hold On Real Tight" Ride 11> The Hall Of Elizabeth Taylor's Ex-Husbands 10> Sign at park entrance which says, "You must be at least this young to enter....
• The Top 15 Chinese Translations of English Movie Titles 15> "Pretty Woman" - "I Will Marry a Prostitute to Save Money" 14> "Face/Off" - "Who Is Face Belonging To?
  I Kill You Again, Harder!" 13> "Leaving Las Vegas" - "I'm Drunk And You're a Prostitute" 12> "Interview With The Vampire" - "So, You Are a Lawyer?...