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• Scariest Halloween Costumes 12> Al Gore Disco Fever Costume 11> Positive Home Pregnancy Test 10> Jacko-Lantern 9> Marge Schott's Less Attractive
  Slightly More Racist Sister 8> Evil British Nanny 7> Janet Reno Little French Maid Outfit 6> Male Pattern Baldness 5> Guy Who Ate Too Much Olestra 4> Flaming Tofu Burrito from Hell on a Stick 3> President Jesse Helms 2> Marv Albert, Warrior Princess and the Number 1 Scariest Halloween Costume....
• Rejected Sidekick Names 15> The Sidekick Formerly Known as Tonto 14> Al Gore 13> HansonLad 12> Andrew Ridgely 11> Guano Boy 10> The Lapdance Kid 9> Minor in a Dubious Living Arrangement With a Bachelor Mentor 8> VomitBoy 7> Caller of 911 6> Easily-Wedgied Wally 5> Passive-Agressive Middle Child 4> The Well-Meaning But Decidedly Dense Guy 3> Buttockshead 2> Vulnerabo and the Number 1 Rejected Sidekick Name.
  .. 1> The Mighty Colosto This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc....
• New Movies Starring Christian Slater 15> "Biting Raoul" 14> "Dentl" 13> "Alien IV
  Going Back In" 12> "Belly Jack" 11> "Breakfast at Tiffany's Spleen" 10> "Edward Scissorteeth" 9> "Untasted Heart" 8> "Young Gums" 7> "The Three Mouthketeers" (with Marv Albert and Mike Tyson) 6> "Broken Arrow Shirt" 5> "My Dinner of Andre" 4> "The Story of a Man Who Went, Without Surgery, From An Being an Outie to an Innie" 3> "Who's That Eating Gilbert Grape?...
• Lesser Known Opponents of Godzilla 15> His evil twi
  Godzima 14> Hemorrhoithra 13> A creeping malaise, caused by his being agnostic and painfully aware of his own cosmic insignificance 12> Deepakchopra 11> Tony "The Taxidermist" Bouffanti 10> ManRay...
• The Top 15 Stupid Plagues 15> The Return of the Platform Shoes 14> Five Years of That "Not-So-Fresh" Feeling 13> The Outbreak of Incorrigible Sportscasters 12> The Proliferation of Spice Girls 11> Extremely High Humidity 10> Twenty Years of Toenail Fungus and Excessive Ear and Nose Hair 9> The Ne'er Ending Torrents of Zima 8> The Multiple Actors who Play Batman Plague 7> The Whistling Booger Plague 6> The Mauve Death 5> The Smooth
  Hairless Buttocks Plague 4> The Big Swirling Cloud of Allspice 3> The Kennedy Men at Your Bachelorette Party plague 2> Smallcox and the Number 1 Stupid Plague....
• The Top 15 Rejected Pro Wrestling Names 15> Peaches & Herb (tag team) 14> Macho
  Macho Man 13> Cyberboy Gates 12> Andre the Vertically Enhanced Weinie 11> Jimmy the Carter 10> Liberace, Jr....
• Least Popular Leftover Turkey Dishes 15> Grandma's Pre-Gummed Turkey Neck 14> Deep-Fried Turkey Heads 'n' Velveeta 13> Roasted Neck-on-a-Stick 12> Turkey-House Cookies 11> Carcass Cacciatore 10> Forgotten Giblet Bag Pate' 9> Marrowloaf 8> Pudenda Pudding 7> Ice Cold Turkey Smoothies 6> Poorly Sliced Turkey with Finger 5> Pan Scrapings 'n' Dried Turkeyskin Crepes 4> Regurgiturkey Surprise 3> Homemade Moon Pie with Creamed Turkey/Marshmallow Filling 2> Turkey Testicle Tiramisu and the Number 1 Least Popular Leftover Turkey Dish.
  .. 1> Beakaroni and Cheese This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc....
• The Top 20 Least Popular Summer Camps 20> Camp Lactose Intolerance 19> Camp Awannagopeepee 18> Camp Colonic 17> Ranger Packwood's Kamp Touchee-Feelee 16> Camp LardAss 15> Father Stephen's Naturalist Altar Boy Camp 14> Camp OS/2 13> Camp Turnyerhedncoff 12> Marvin's Learn-to-Set-the-VCR-Clock Camp 11> Camp Time/Life Books 10> Camp Squeal-Like-a-Pig 9> Lil' Toiler Textile Mill & Summer Camp 8> Camp Ritalin 7> Camp Wutchoolookina
  NYC 6> The M. Jackson Camp for Cute Young Unchaperoned Boys 5> Lyle and Eric's Wilderness Ranch for Mom & Dad 4> Joe Piscopo's Comedy Workout Camp 3> Camp La Cage 2> Hyalooza Computer Camp and the Number 1 Least Popular Summer Camp....
• The Top 15 Attractions at Michael Jackson's Amusement Park in Poland 15> The Jackson Siblings' Career Slide!
  14> Kid Who Played Webster Petting Zoo 13> The Rusty Antique Moonwalk 12> The "Now Hold On Real Tight" Ride 11> The Hall Of Elizabeth Taylor's Ex-Husbands 10> Sign at park entrance which says, "You must be at least this young to enter....