Old TV Show Plots Updated For The 90's (Part I) 15> "Gidget Dot Com" -- Jenny McCarthy Stars As Gidget The World-famous Webmistress And Part-time Model.

Old TV Show Plots Updated for the 90's (Part I)

15> "Gidget Dot Com" -- Jenny McCarthy stars as Gidget the
world-famous Webmistress and part-time model.

14> "The Love Boat" -- Doc sells Isaac's and Gopher's kidneys to
pay for his new girlfriend's crack habit.

13> "Dennis the Menace" -- Dennis puts Mr. Wilson through a meat
grinder and has a BBQ party. "Good burgers, eh, Mrs. Wilson?"

12> "All in the Family" -- Archie, freshman representative from
Queens, is asked to give keynote speech at Republican
National Convention.

11> "I Love Lucy" -- After hearing the slogan, "Castro must die",
Lucy sneaks into Cuba in Ricky's bongo drum to dye Fidel's
hair red.

10> "Mary Tyler Moore" -- Mary convinces Mr. Grant to braid his
back hair into some bitchin' dreadlocks.

9> "My Favorite Martian" -- Uncle Martin takes an unsavory
interest in Jodie Foster.

8> "The Howdy Doody Show" -- We learn how Buffalo Bob got that
particular nickname from the Native Americans.

7> "The Fugitive" -- Final episode. The FBI announces it has
found the *real* murderer. Guest stars Richard Jewell.

6> "The Brady Bunch" -- The boys each individually confess to
Mike after Marsha turns up pregnant.

5> "Bewitched" -- Samantha responds to Larry Tate's advances by
turning him into a tampon.

4> "Gomer Pyle USMC" -- Once again, Sergeant Carter doesn't ask
and Gomer doesn't tell.

3> "Gunsmoke Blue" -- Same old plots, just a few added shots of
Festus's hairy ass.

2> "Mister Ed" -- Phat Ed goes to glue factory after becoming
latest victim in rap wars.

and the Number 1 Old TV Show Plot Updated for the 90's...

1> "Diff'rent Strokes" -- In an effort to collect his millions,
Willis and Arnold ambush Mr. Drummond "Menendez style."

This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com

Old TV Show Plots Updated for the 90's (Part II) 15> "Lassie" -- Timmy falls down the old well, bringing a CNN news crew and a dozen benefit concerts before Lassie can even say, "Woof".
14> "Lost in Space" -- Hilarity abounds when the Robot discovers what appears to be a remote control car examining rocks on the red planet....
Things Overheard at the World Series 16> "...and now, here's the new owner of the Marlins, Mr.
Tony Montana." 15> "These long games must be part of NBC's 'Must-Sleep TV' programming strategy....
What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
The Top 16 Surprises in the New "Captain Kangaroo" Show 16> Photo of Mr.
Rogers on the dart board. 15> After his trip to Sweden, Mr....
When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
Ways to Commemorate the 20th Anniversary of Elvis Presley's Death 15> Have the King exhumed, breaded, deep-fried & reburied.
14> For crying out loud, he's NOT DEAD! How many 7-11 sightings does it take to CONVINCE you people?...
Signs a Romance Novel has been Plagiarized 15> Hero rips open heroine's bodice and gasps, "Bosoms are like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're going to get." 14> Book after book, the same plo...
How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
Ways the FBI Can Apologize to Richard Jewell 16> One burger and fries, coming right up!
15> Gift-wrapped VHS box set of White House surveillance footage of JFK "gettin' it on....

Old TV Show Plots Updated For The 90's (Part I) 15> "Gidget Dot Com" -- Jenny McCarthy Stars As Gidget The World-famous Webmistress And Part-time Model.

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