Least Effective Dating Tips 15> Have State Troopers Extend The Invitation For That All-important First Date.

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Least Effective Dating Tips

15> Have state troopers extend the invitation for that
all-important first date.

14> Be sure to point out the "Blimp Effect" of those horizontal
stripes she's wearing.

13> Ask, "You're not allergic to latex, are you?"

12> Don't let him skip out by claiming to go to the bathroom --
follow him.

11> Before asking for the waiter's phone number, borrow a buck
from your date for a tip.

10> On your first golf date, ask her if she'll help you look for
the real killers.

9> If she still lives with her parents, give her dad your bail
bondsman's business card, "just in case."

8> Ask politely if your date minds waiting in the car while you
talk to your Parole Officer.

7> If she's a dog lover, skip the good-night kiss and just lick
her face.

6> Nothing says "I like you" like a big hunk of headcheese.

5> Ask the waiter for a table in the "PMS Section."

4> Properly stimulated, the inner lip of the nostril, or the
"Labia Nostrum", is a highly erogenous zone.

3> Red wine for dumpster meals, white for road kill.

2> "How do I love thee? Let me belch the ways."


and the Number 1 Least Effective Dating Tip...


1> Never try to impress your date with snot sculptures unless
you have enough mucous to finish.


This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com

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