Least Effective Dating Tips 15> Have state troopers extend the invitation for that all-important first date.

Least Effective Dating Tips

15> Have state troopers extend the invitation for that
all-important first date.

14> Be sure to point out the "Blimp Effect" of those horizontal
stripes she's wearing.

13> Ask, "You're not allergic to latex, are you?"

12> Don't let him skip out by claiming to go to the bathroom --
follow him.

11> Before asking for the waiter's phone number, borrow a buck
from your date for a tip.

10> On your first golf date, ask her if she'll help you look for
the real killers.

9> If she still lives with her parents, give her dad your bail
bondsman's business card, "just in case."

8> Ask politely if your date minds waiting in the car while you
talk to your Parole Officer.

7> If she's a dog lover, skip the good-night kiss and just lick
her face.

6> Nothing says "I like you" like a big hunk of headcheese.

5> Ask the waiter for a table in the "PMS Section."

4> Properly stimulated, the inner lip of the nostril, or the
"Labia Nostrum", is a highly erogenous zone.

3> Red wine for dumpster meals, white for road kill.

2> "How do I love thee? Let me belch the ways."


and the Number 1 Least Effective Dating Tip...


1> Never try to impress your date with snot sculptures unless
you have enough mucous to finish.


This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
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