Polly Want a Cracker?
There's this fellow with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a
sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight
without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a
quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him
crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the
throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just
makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a
kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and
scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose
with a stream of invectives that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the
freezer.
For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and
claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets VERY quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird
may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried
that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says,
"Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to
improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded. He can't
understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
There's this fellow with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a
sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight
without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a
quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him
crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the
throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just
makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a
kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and
scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose
with a stream of invectives that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the
freezer.
For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and
claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets VERY quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird
may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried
that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says,
"Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to
improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded. He can't
understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
Related:
- The Parrot with A Foul Vocabulary
Bill received a parrot for his birthday.
This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and... - The Rude Parrot
David received a parrot for his birthday.
This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and... - Butcher Dance
A guy has spent five years traveling all around the world making a
documentary on Native dances.
At the end of this time, he has every single native... - This guy buys a parrot. Every morning he stands in front of the cage and asks
in a pleasant voice "Can you talk?" This goes on for weeks with absolutely no
response from the bird.
Finally one morning, totally fed up, he shouts "CAN... - Footless Parrot
A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at
all and he's lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help.
The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.
I will reply, mailers willing. I reply to all submissions... - Kinda long, but it makes a good party joke:)
A small balding <ethnic> storms into a local bar and demands "Gimme a double of
the strongest whiskey you got!
I'm so pissed I can't even see straight!" The bartender... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while...
