WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEMMATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEM MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMAN A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS --------------------- ELEMENT

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WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEMMATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS

INFORMATION SYSTEM

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET


WOMAN

A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
---------------------

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO2
DISCOVERER: ADAM
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 53 kilos, but known to vary
from 45 to 250 kilos
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with a painted smile
2. Extremely volatile; boils and freezes without reason
3. Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) for no
detectable reason
4. Melts if given special treatment
5. Bitter if incorrectly used
6. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to
common ore
7. Yields to pressure applied to correct points
8. Non-magnetic, but attracted to specific plastic
used in credit cards

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. As a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and
precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning,
and for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased
by saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful monetary/ego-reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation; usually not
3. Used as heating agent, if properly prepared
4. Has ability to reproduce; use extreme caution

STORAGE:

Best results are obtained if the specimen is aged between
16 and 25 years.

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in a raw,
natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

HAZARDS:

1. Migrates in groups of similar species; generally
congregating in frenzied packs around malls
2. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
3. Use extreme care if experiments are to succeed
4. While in possession of one specimen, it is highly
unwise to attempt to obtain another
5. If specimen begins to boil, leave immediately
6. Appropriate protective attire is required to complete
satisfactory conclusions

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