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• Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
• THE BIG PIG Received the following communication from Poor Innocent Guy Asa of Montgomery, Alabama
  These should come in handy at work or when frequenting a doctor's office...
• Peace Talks Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for a round of talks in a new peace process.
  When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair....
• Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies ** During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  ** When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other....
• Feeling Like a Woman On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
  The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning....
• Lock on to that explosion and fire!
• A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
• Parent Definitions... AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again.
  DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside....
• ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 Costello: Hey, Abbott!
  Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer....